Helpless Dancer

The Endless Note

Drown In My Own Tears

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I was a year ago today that my beloved Fiona received the news that she was suffering from cancer both in her lung plus a secondary spread to her brain.

It was the latter that developed the symptoms whch were at first diagnosed as a minor stroke. She had been referred a day earlier to the hospital by our GP and the hospital confirmed his stroke diagnosis.

A routine chest x-ray the next day revealed the dreaded news and a brain scan confirmed the spread.

I constantly relive those 48hrs and will never be able to forget receiving the call at home to come as soon as is possible to the hospital and on getting there seeing Fiona and a nurse in her room, she was sitting on the edge of the bed and was showing such bravery in holding herself together to enable her to tell me the news herself…………..her words echo in my mind everyday “Darling I’m so sorry I have cancer I don’t want to leave you this soon”

Throughout the next few days once you take in the news and the spirit clings to hope and positivity and right up to the end 106 days later on the 31st December she was and always will be “the bravest of the brave”

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As for me and the rest of the family we continue to drown in our own tears, face the world the best we can and try to be as brave as she was.

Here is Ray Charles with “Drown In My Own Tears”

It brings a tear,
Into my eyes,
When I begin,
To realize,
I’ve cried so much,
Since you’ve been gone,
I guess I’m drowning in my own tears,

I sit and cry,
Just like a child
My pouring tears
Are runnin’ wild
If you don’t think
You’ll be home soon
I guess I’ll drown in my own tears

I know it’s true
Into each life
Some rain, rain must pour
I’m so blue
Here without you
It keeps raining
More and more

Why don’t you
Come on home
Oh yes so I won’t
Be all alone
If you don’t think
You’ll be home soon

I guess I’ll
(drown in my own tears)
Ooh, don’t let me
(drown in my own tears)
When I’m in trouble, baby
(drown in my own tears)
Oh, yeah, baby don’t let me
(drown in my own tears)
I guess I’ll drown in my own tears
Oh, mmmmm.

“You know life can be long
And you got to be so strong
And the world is so tough
Sometimes I feel I’ve had enough”      John Lennon  1971

You can shine your shoes and wear a suit
You can comb your hair and look quite cute
You can hide your face behind a smile
One thing you can’t hide
Is when you’re crippled inside

You can wear a mask and paint your face
You can call yourself the human race
You can wear a collar and a tie
One thing you can’t hide
Is when you’re crippled inside

Well now you know that your
Cat has nine lives
Nine lives to itself
But you only got one
And a dog’s life ain’t fun
Mamma take a look outside

You can go to church and sing a hymn
You can judge me by the color of my skin
You can live a lie until you die
One thing you can’t hide
Is when you’re crippled inside

Well now you know that your
Cat has nine lives
Nine lives to itself
But you only got one
And a dog’s life ain’t fun
Mamma take a look outside

You can go to church and sing a hymn
You can judge me by the color of my skin
You can live a lie until you die
One thing you can’t hide
Is when you’re crippled inside

One thing you can’t hide
Is when you’re crippled inside
One thing you can’t hide
Is when you’re crippled inside

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Fi,
God Bless
Love always and forever
Gilbey   xxx
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September 15, 2009 - Posted by | Family, Fiona, Mrs D, Old Music | , ,

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